Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
