Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Randomize
