Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
