that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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