I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
