Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Randomize
