don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
