I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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