so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
