What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
