you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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