butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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