Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
