Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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