Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
