At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
