you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
