Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
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