why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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