He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
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