I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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