He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
