So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
