Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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