Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
