I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
