yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
