If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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