Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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