"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just pee around me
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
