Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
