Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there was a trapeze. enough said
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
