I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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