Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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