Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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