Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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