i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Randomize
