two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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