I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
