No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
