As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Randomize
