Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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