Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
