My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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