just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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