could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
