if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
