he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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