Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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