We won't sleep together?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
