Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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