I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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