Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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